so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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