I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
