Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I supernannyed him into submission
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
