I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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