i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
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