every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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