just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
What a dumb baby whore.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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