let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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