Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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