I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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