That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
