After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
