When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
