Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
