I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
