If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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