Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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