I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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