Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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