I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
