There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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