id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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