In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
sex in a hospital.. check
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
