is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You're a waste of cheezeits
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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