i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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