Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
