Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
