Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
BRING THE BAGELS
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
