So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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