Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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