He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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