everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
