My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
