Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
