Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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