she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
