go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
