Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
