i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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