I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize