There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
