i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
