You're completely useless in the revolution.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
