Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
