matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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