I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
