So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So vagazzling was a success
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
