youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize