he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
