i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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