I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Terrible idea I love it
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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