Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
