he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
