Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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