She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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