very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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