youre lurking in front of me
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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