omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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