I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
