We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
high people should be assigned attendants
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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