im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
