dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
