with your own penis?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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