Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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